Les Désastreuses Aventures des orphelins Baudelaire (A Series of Unfortunate Events) est une série de romans écrits par l'américain Daniel Handler sous le pseudonyme de Lemony Snicket, dont la parution a débuté en 2006.
NB : du fait de certains problèmes de traduction, on privilégiera les citations traduites littéralement des œuvres originelles, et non les citations de la traduction française qui s'éloigne parfois énormément du texte de départ
Tome I : Tout commence mal[modifier]
- (en) If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book. In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle. This is because not very many happy things happened in the lives of the three Baudelaire youngsters. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire were intelligent children, and they were charming and resourceful, and had pleasant racial features, but they were extremely unlucky, and most everything that happened to them was rife with misfortune, misery, and despair. I'm sorry to tell you this, but that is how the story goes.
- (en) The book was long, and difficult to read, and Klaus became more and more tired as the night wore on. Occasionally his eyes would close. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over.
- (en) Books about law are notorious for being very long, very dull, and very difficult to read. This is one reason many lawyers make heaps of money. The money is an incentive - the word 'incentive' here means 'an offered reward to persuade you to do something you don't want to do' - to read long, dull, and difficult books.
Second Tome : The Reptile Room[modifier]
- (en) When someone is a little bit wrong — say, when a waiter puts nonfat milk in your espresso macchiato, instead of lowfat milk — it is often quite easy to explain to them how and why they are wrong. But if someone is surpassingly wrong — say, when a waiter bites your nose instead of taking your order--you can often be so surprised that you are unable to say anything at all. Paralyzed by how wrong the waiter is, your mouth would hang slightly open and your eyes would blink over and over, but you would be unable to say a word.
- The Reptile Room, Lemony Snicket (trad. Wikiquote), éd. HarperCollins, 1999, p. 53
- (en) When you were very small, perhaps someone read to you the insipid story — the word insipid here means not worth reading to someone — of the Boy Who Cried Wolf. A very dull boy, you may remember, cried Wolf! when there was no wolf, and the gullible villagers ran to rescue him only to find the whole thing was a joke. Then he cried Wolf! when it wasn't a joke, and the villagers didn't come running, and the boy was eaten and the story, thank goodness, was over. The story's moral, of course, ought to be Never live somewhere where wolves are running around loose, but whoever read you the story probably told you that the moral was not to lie. This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie. [...] There is another story concerning wolves that somebody has probably read to you, which is just as absurd. I am talking about Little Red Riding Hood, an extremely unpleasant little girl who, like the Boy Who Cried Wolf, insisted on intruding on the territory of dangerous animals. You will recall that the wolf, after being treated very rudely by Little Red Riding Hood, ate the little girl's grandmother and put on her clothing as a disguise. It is this aspect of the story that is the most ridiculous, because one would think that even a girl as dim-witted as Little Red Riding hood could tell in an instant the difference between her grandmother and a wolf dressed in a nightgown and fuzzy slippers. If you know somebody very well, like your grandmother or your baby sister, you will know when they are real and when they are fake.
- The Reptile Room, Lemony Snicket (trad. Wikiquote), éd. HarperCollins, 1999, p. 54
- (en) We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.
- The Reptile Room, Lemony Snicket (trad. Wikiquote), éd. HarperCollins, 1999, p. 117
Troisième Tome : The Wide Window[modifier]
- (en) If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.
- The Wide Window, Lemony Snicket (trad. Wikiquote), éd. HarperCollins, 2000, p. 110
- The Wide Window, Lemony Snicket (trad. Wikiquote), éd. HarperCollins, 2000, p. 32
- (en) There are few sights sadder than a ruined book.
- The Wide Window, Lemony Snicket (trad. Wikiquote), éd. HarperCollins, 2000, p. 134
- (en) Stealing, of course, is a crime, and a very impolite thing to do. But like most impolite things, it is excusable under certain circumstances. Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a museum and you decide that a certain painting would look better in your house, and you simply grab the painting and take it there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it might be excusable to grab the painting, take it to your house, and eat it.
- The Wide Window, Lemony Snicket (trad. Wikiquote), éd. HarperCollins, 2000, p. 95
- (en) There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or, in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't. […] Being afraid of a monster under the bed is perfectly rational, because there may in fact be a monster under your bed at any time, ready to eat you all up, but a fear of realtors is an irrational fear. […] Besides occasionally wearing an ugly yellow coat, the worst a realtor can do to you is show you a house that you find ugly, so it is completely irrational to be terrified of them.
- The Wide Window, Lemony Snicket (trad. Wikiquote), éd. HarperCollins, 2000, p. 58